Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
