You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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