I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Randomize