What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
