We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize