this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Randomize
