he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
