tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
