I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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