It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Randomize
