Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
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