I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
