uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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