Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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