lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
He? As in you personified your dick?
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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