u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Randomize
