We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
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