I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Dick very happy bro
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
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