What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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