We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Randomize
