just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize
