im gay
i know
yea but for you.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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