I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Randomize
