i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Randomize
