I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
She needs sedatives and a leash
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
