I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Randomize
