Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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