Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
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