Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Randomize
