if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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