So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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