So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
