Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
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