I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
