singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
