She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I seem to have left my pride at pride
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
And then he peed in my hair
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