I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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