oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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