I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
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