You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
