I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
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