Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
