i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize
