This is not my ceiling
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
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