is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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