I'm so fucking centered right now
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Randomize
