It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize