I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
