Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
