She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize