Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Randomize
