so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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