can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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