pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Randomize
